Controlling Outcomes is Burdensome

Do you ever sit back and wish that you had complete control over every outcome you experience? 

What would that look like? Especially if we could ALL have that power. Everyone would ‘win’, be ‘happy’, be successful, and never be disappointed or discouraged.

Let’s be thankful that we are NOT in control! What a burden! We would strive day in and day out to make sure all outcomes were positive ones. Which as we know is just not possible.

So let go. Realize that you do not have ultimate control of the outcomes, but you DO have control over lots of other things…and those can certainly influence the outcome.

Focus on those actions, what you can control. Accept what you cannot. Very stoic  – right?!?

Stoicism is based on the idea that our choices have consequences but ultimately there are many outside influences that may interrupt the expected outcome, and we must accept that as truth.

Life is a masterpiece of good, bad, and ugly experiences. We have many triumphs, challenges, joys and sorrows all splashed onto the canvas of our lives. Sometimes it is hard to know where sorrow ends and joy begins. Many trials in life morph unexpectedly into triumphs. 

Easy to say here on paper or read about in an ancient philosophy book, harder to digest and implement into our daily lives. Logically we know that we only have control over ourselves and our choices…and absolutely no control over things like death. 

But what about our success? What about our happiness? Do we have control over those? Sort of. Yet remember that no amount of success is certain, guaranteed, or forever, and neither is any amount of suffering. 

Life can unexpectedly shift, no matter the choices we make.

So how do we do that? Where do we start? How do we stay motivated and fully engaged when it feels like no matter what choices we make things don’t work out…or move to slowly.

Consider these few ideas

Control your attitude

Our thoughts, doubts, ego, and pride often have us underestimating or overestimating our potential which results in unmet expectations. That ‘all is lost’ or ‘nothing works out’ feeling overtakes us and we are left impotent against the unforeseen outcomes. 

Combat that! What is next, what the outcome will be, may be uncertain or even negative – but we don’t know that as for sure. Each new day, each new endeavor should be approached as a fresh opportunity. One in which you can be the person and have the business you desire. 

Banish negative expectations. Stay enthusiastic and optimistic. Make choices based on that outlook. Above all, remember that people remember your attitude more then they remember your actions.

Learn something everyday

“When you are through learning, you are through!” – anonymous

Proverbs 19:27 states that if you stop listening to correction, you will stray from the words of knowledge (paraphrased). We run the risk of not making necessary changes if we don’t take the time to learn the things of which we do not know.

If we do not push ourselves, we become complacent, and complacency will not bring you the outcomes you strive for. We all need help, we are not good at “all the things” it takes to run a business. Asking for help, learning from others, is a sign of strength, competence, and confidence, not a sign of weakness or inadequacy. 

Don’t look back and say, “I should have listened.”

Embrace a strong work ethic and dedication

The one thing we know about this life is that change happens, and we often have zero control over when, how, and why things change. But if we buckle down and continue to make efforts and choices focused on our character and what we are trying to achieve, we will see more positive outcomes arise.

“No man steps in the same river twice. “   –  Heraclitus

Change is constant, we can’t stop the river from flowing. Resenting unexpected outcomes, or changes from outside influences, or blaming others won’t reverse the situation. Embrace a work ethic where you put the same amount of effort into each thing you do – every time – and you will see success.

Laziness, complaining, explaining, or justifying through excuses reap disappointment. Solid work ethic with dedication and focus reap rewarding opportunities.

Live in the moment

Hoping for a certain outcome or fearing a certain outcome does you no good. Hope and fear result in the same thing – not living in the moment that is now. You are looking into the unknown, uncontrollable future which can, and does, hold you back from being fully present and making the best choices now – here – today.

It projects your wants and worries onto the decisions and actions you are to be actively engaged in, which in return can hinder your ability to do your best in the moment. 

Your wants, your worries, your hopes, and your fears do not have the power to direct the outcome…but your actions and decisions have the ability to influence the outcome.

So make the choice today. Decide to release the burden of trying to control the outcome and rather focus on what you can change – your attitude, your seeking of knowledge, your work ethic and dedication, and your steadfast commitment to living in the moment. The rest will take care of itself.