Your Likeability Factor

Making a good impression is not only vital to business growth, but also important for healthy relationships, attracting an exceptional social group, and having the love and support we all need to live our best life. It is the first step to being “likeable”.

But have you ever stopped to contemplate what factors go into making a good impression? Is it just the ability to get along well with others, to be likeable, seemingly trustworthy, open and approachable, and a good conversationalist?

Are there common attributes and characteristics that people who seem to be liked by all have? Yes!  There are!  Here are a few to think about:

It is enjoyable and easy to be in their company

When you spot these folks, it is almost like they have a sign around their neck that says, “Hi! Come chat with me!” It is not only easy to strike up a conversation with them (they are approachable), but they are warm, attentive, open, and relatable. The conversation is a 2-way street. They are actively listening, not just waiting for their moment to break in and talk, but rather taking what the other person is saying and explore it further, asking good questions as follow up.

Not only that but their whole being is open and inviting. They extend a hand in greeting, their body language is not closed off or stand-offish, they look at you and not through you, and they angle their body to be inclusive of all those around without excluding others. They face the person they are talking with and are visibly interested in the interaction.

They will never make anyone feel like an outsider, like they don’t belong. They refuse to play the clique game. They make everyone feel welcome, included, and appreciated. They leave judgement, jealousy, and competition at the curb.

You can feel their confidence without being turned away by it

It is an aire about them, the way they carry themselves, how they speak to others, how they greet people, and even their lack of dependance on distraction devices. When they speak you can hear that they are well versed in what they are talking about – yet have an ability to not talk ‘to’ or down to those around them but rather chat with them.

Many times they show their ability to laugh at themselves, further showing that they don’t take themselves too seriously, they are real. They often use humor to lighten a mood, make people feel included rather than excluded and to put them at ease.

Part of this is a sunny disposition, on optimistic outlook even when things look dismal. Now, this doesn’t mean they are happy-go-lucky all the time, but even during tough times or circumstances they try to look at the bright spots, and have a positive energy flowing around them. Optimism is contagious and they are fully aware that sometimes positivity needs to be intentional to promote lifted sprits.

They not only remember what you say but the details you share about who you really are

It’s not just that they remember you name, what you do, or who you work for. They remember the details of what you talked about, the little things that others missed in the conversation. Sometimes even the things that were not said but still transferred through emotions or body language. They ask meaningful questions and really listen to absorb and understand the answers.

They are perpetually curious about other people, focusing the conversations on them rather than sharing the things going on in their own lives. They are open to different perspectives and points of view and strive to grapple with the reasons people see things in different ways. Not trying to persuade everyone to their own train of thought, but rather respecting where each person is at. They have an appreciation for varied experiences.

Likeable people have an inherent ability to empathize with others. They have an uncanny ability to put themselves in other people shoes and offer true support and help when needed. On the other side, they can whole-heartedly celebrate with others. They have a mind of abundance and are able to genuinely be happy for other people’s successes.

They are not only reliable – but trustworthy

It could be a secret they keep, or a confidence that was shared. It could be that they show up when they say they will – on time and ready to be involved and focused. It could be they are able and willing to carry a heavy load for someone, so their load is lighter.

There are many ways to show reliability and trustworthiness and those that do stand out above the rest. People like people they can count on, people that they know “have their back”.

They are the people we know that jump in and help when needed or offer support behind the scenes. We know without a shadow of a doubt that you can count on them.

They are not afraid to ask for help

Yes, they are confident and completely able in the eyes of others.  But let’s face it, everyone needs help sometimes and those that don’t ask for it are viewed in a negative light. We are all wired to want to help, so when someone never asks for it, they deny people around them the joy of giving.

We all like to give. We all like the feeling it gives us when we give. So being able to give to someone else produces positive feelings in us for that person that provided the opportunity for us to give. Asking others for help shows that you trust them, that you value them and their abilities, that you need them in your life. It is admirable to ask for advice, feedback, help with tasks, or even just a helping hand.

But the biggest common characteristic – they treat everyone they encounter with respect

Appreciation, a smile, a hello, a thank you, a please…these are non-negotiable. If we commit to treating everyone with respect our “likability factor” is increased by an astonishing rate! Even if you don’t agree with someone’s viewpoint, even if you don’t like their foundation or their actions, you can still politely respect their autonomy to choose for themselves the life they want to live.

You don’t have to respect their actions or their ethics, but you can respect their privacy and freedom to do as they choose. Remove yourself from interaction with them rather then engage in a harsh and unproductive interaction.

Set your boundaries, know your foundation, and be firm yet polite in adhering to them. It is not a repelling factor to have healthy boundaries, it actually evokes respect from others and makes you an attractive and likable person.

We all want to be likeable. Take another quick look at these few characteristics and start to be intentional about displaying them in your life. None of these are rocket science, and ALL of these are available to everyone. It might take a concerted effort to bring them out but it will be well worth it – I promise!